Another twist of life.

So, I moved to Zurich last week. I mean, completely moved. Two years in France, and now - Switzerland. Geographically not a big difference, but pretty much - culturally.

Changed my jobs. Or rather companies. Plus Zurich is uncomparably more urban than Belfort. Nice city. Sufficiently German to be better organized and clean, and sufficiently French to be relaxed and careless. The city was not really new to me: we travelled to Zurich with Sudhakar about a year or so ago, and we both liked the city. Now it's my second week-end here, and the first week-end when I am really enjoying the "citiness" of Zurich: after the endless days of rain and the first tourist shock of Bahnhoffstrasse prices.

I don't know if I stay here, it will all depend on whether Sudhakar joins me soon or rather I join him. There are two laws which work flawlessly in my life: 1) Anything which is done, is done for the best and 2) Everything in life happens for some good purpose. So, I guess my Zurich experience will be for something good too..

Tschuss,
N.

Only a few days left!

Only a few days left!

It's been a hectic time lately, but thinking that just in a few days we will be together and with our families and dear friends around, makes feel so incredibly great!

Life brings new things. New challenges. Surprises! And it's beautiful! And it is aaaaal for the very best of it!

:-) See you all soon!

Love,

Catching up.

Finally, I am back to my blog. I am very s-o-r-r-y, but I am who I am - an irregular blogger...

Oh, actualy, now I see... my last post was in... August... oops... yeah... That's pretty embarassing.

In this case a digest update on... my life. Awright, in chronological order then.

Well, first, I went to India with S - first time in my life (to India, I mean). Second, we got engaged. (Yes, yes, yes! We did.) Now I am a fiancée. Hmm.. Feels cool,

actually. :-) It was definitely a special moment. But more on this - later... If I feel like it. :-)

Third, I took a vacation in September and we went to Ukraine to see my parents. Straight after that I flew across the Atlantic to stay with my now fiancé for (about) 10 days. After that, which is very recent - almost present - we went together to Freiburg (Germany) which appeared to be a lovely place. Surprisingly enough, even
though this toy-town is just 40 min drive from mine, I have never been there yet. It was more than worth it. Awesome place: a retirement paradise for Germans.

And here I am now, preparing for my tomorrow's trip to Moscow and to my next week-end trip to Berlin.

Hopefully, I gave at least some valid reasons of why I was away for so long.

In all this meantime, I have been trying to enjoy the summer in Belfort and learn driving. (Oh, I didn't tell you? Yeah, I am getting my driving licence. Finally. I

know, it seems rediculous - "only now?!". But, c'est la vie - only now.)

This week-end is the first lazy week-end I allowed myself in about 1.5 months. I was pretty content with just being on my own, finally being able to do some trivial

work at home, which I've been postponing for exactly those 1.5 months, and just catching up on some movies and my favorite blogs. Only now, on Sunday evening, feels a

little bit too lazy. But let's consider it a mortgage for the crazy busy upcoming week.

On vacations...

Ooops... Looking again: no folks, I am no way a consistent blogger... Hehe... last posting almost 3 months ago... Huh, what to do...

Anyways. In the meantime, I've spent another summer in France, its Eastern part mostly. Well, I hosted my parents in June. It was their first time in France and it was quite a fun taking them around. We managed to do all major tourist places in Paris, Strasbourg, Basel, and some small towns nearby. For me it was also another experience of watching people pushing their boundaries, observing my folks exploring on their own (often, as I was working during the week) a totally foreign country with minimum language knowledge. It's amazing how they made it: truly, a person can do wonders when put into demanding situation.

Another major event of my life, in the meantime, I went to India - my first travel there. I went their with S (now my fiancé - yes, yes that's a whole other and long story to tell :-)) and I am very grateful for how he helped me to get acquainted with the country and to like it a lot. I don't want to rant here about Indian social life, economy, etc., etc. because 1) I am not a good enough expert to do that, 2) don't think I would do it even if I were an expert just because everyone else seems to be doing that and 3) I don't think it's this which matters, but rather people, individuals, personalties... I will only say that I enjoyed my first step!


Now, I am looking forward to my vacation. Yeah, finally a proper long one. Starts in... one, two,... three days. Heading to Ukraine (Crimea, actually) with S to see my Mom and Dad, and then - on to the US. Gonna be busy, but it's good. Looking forward to introduce my land to S. I've been missing my "most blue in the world Black Sea".

(Will try to) Keep you posted (more regularly)
;-)

Hi!

I am finally back here. Yes. I know, don't even say a word - it's been a while I last wrote in my blog. But okey, I won't bore you with any kinds of explanations. Moreover, none of them will be enough, I think. One thing I will tell you, though. I just couldn't force myself into writing because nothing what I wrote before seemed anymore worthwhile to me. Somehow, I realized that everything I'd written before is not important and that I should come up with something "real", something that would at least change the world...

Well, I am not sure I will "change the world" today by posting this, but at least I feel like talking here again! I feel like I am back.

If you did look through my rant before, you might pay attention to the link name of my blog: www.seaahead.com. And even, might you question why this name? Why sea suddenly? Hmmm, I am sure I could then answer you with hundreds of reasons, nice explanations and sea-stories. They all would be sheer truth. But to keep it simple (and thus, with pretentiousness on genius ;-) kidding, kidding), I will only tell you that sea is my source of energy. Different people nourish their energy differently and my theory is that it most probably depends on where one was born: the one who was born near the mountains feels best in the hillside, the one who was born in a big city feels best in the hastiness of the city streets. I was born in the city near the sea and I just cannot live without the "Grande Bleue"for a long time.

Recently, I have run into one remarkable article, which has practically laid down all my feelings and thoughts about the sea so beautifully. The author is Suresh Subramaniam and here I will allow myself some plagiarism and will quote a significant part of what he said about "my" sea:

"

Every one of my visits thus far, has revealed new concepts in management and new ways of looking at life.

I am always amazed by the waves continuously beating the land and threatening to envelop it - with occasional success in the form of a tsunami. The unswerving perseverance of the waves is one admirable quality that any manager would wish to have along the obstacle path we call marketing in the world of business.

Sometimes one gets to see catamarans and the fishing trawlers venturing in or out of the sea. The persistence of the men who can outmaneuver the mighty power of the waves and still keep moving forward is another example in perseverance worthy of emulation.

In the crowded sections, one can often see the excited faces of children holding their parents’ hands while standing at the water’s edge waiting for the angry waves to splash and scatter their foamy surf. The trust of the onlooking child who knows that the firm grip of a parent’s hand will keep him securely anchored to the shore during this awesome experience, reminds me of the relationship that should exist between a subordinate and a boss.

And looking at the people taking their walk, oblivious to what is happening around them illustrates that we must be mindful at all times that “our health is our wealth” regardless of what is being demanded of us by others.

Last but not least – the joy of sitting silently at the water’s edge – simply looking at the magnificent ocean with its roaring waves puts us into an introspective mode. A mood that is necessary for objective self-evaluation and re-prioritizing our personal and professional goals.

"

Have a wonderful time all! See you soon.

Best, Nat

Back.

I know it's been a long time I wrote here. I am feeling super guilty: don't even say a word... Well, and I probably won't find a good reason to justify it. Was away, was busy, was lazy, was sick, forgot, all that and more... And now when the sense of guilt is so overwhelming that I can't stand it anymore, I realized that I cannot organize my thoughts and produce something worthy... So, today, late Monday evening, I will just tell you that I am still here and I will get back to writing. Very soon. Very-very soon, in fact.

Nats

USA

We are going to New York today. My first time to New York. Yes, I think I am excited.

It's been almost two weeks I am in US. Well, also the first time I am in here. First experience is VERY different from Europe. US is VERY different from Europe. I in no way aim to judge it (at least now) and to tag it good or bad as there are both better and worse things.

I like the spaciousness of the country: after Ukraine I missed it in a good old narrow-curly-street Europe. I like the positive mood and attitude of people here. No matter what times they are living through, one can count on a wide smile and a loud "So, how are you guys today?".

Though, loudness - yes - you know, actually sometimes it becomes way too loud, when there's no way to hide from hearing someone's "family story" or a good/bad shopping day experience. And even if you have nothing to do with either of them, they will make sure you hear them even if you are sitting in the other end of the airplane or smth...

And another thing. S. calls it my European snobbishness, but I cannot help mentioning it. Brother, what an awful quality of food one finds here. Everyone keeps telling me that it's just a matter of time, meaning I just have to get used to it. But I DO NOT WANT TO GET USED TO WEIRDLY TASTING UNHEALTHY FOOD. And guys, you got to get to doing more sports. Please! For the sake of the the great American nation at least....

But I love being in big cities again, I just like this megapolis hassle and lights and continuous motion. We traveled to LA and Vegas the week-end before, and it was a great trip. Fabulous entertainments, going-outs with friends, big list of things to-do and no time to do all of that! I missed it.

So today - to New York... New York, New York!

Stay tuned,

Nat

Christmas with a special flavour.

I made a Christmas tour this week-end. It's a great thing to do in Alsace. Christmas tour here is when you are hopping on a car and going from one town to another, to a village, and then again to another town and so on... And you literally get wrapped in the spirit of true Christmas and medieval Alsacian vibe. For a moment, you - no matter how old you are, no matter from what culture you come - get back to your childhood and find yourself in a beautiful fairy-tale.

And this almost forgotten feeling of buying hand-crafted stuff and local home-made sweets and specialties..! Feels a little bit like at your grandma's when you're chatting with a lady who is selling fine embroideries while sitting and making them at the same place.









I totally adored Christmas tradition in this part of France. My hat off for that to the Alsacians!

What a feeling!

What a feeling it is! Barack Obama made it! He won the race, defeated prejudice and stupidity and he made. Though why he? People made! I haven't been there personally, and I probably should not be that much concerned as I am not an American, but why does it feel so strangely proud and joyful and hopeful..? Something good upcoming!

Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

It was not written by me, but I thought it was so meaningful that couldn't help publishing it for you:

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day,
while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help
coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy,
screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad
from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse
surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced
himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.'

'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer
replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son
came to the door of the family hovel.

'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked.

'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly.

'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education
my own son will enjoy If the lad is anything like his father, he'll
no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And that he did.

Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time,
graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went
on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander
Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog
was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. His son's name?

Sir Winston Churchill.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

Some business...

A week ago I went to Kazakhstan on a business trip. It was my first time there. We stayed in Astana all the time. I liked the city: it seemed very spacious and bright and clean.

Since I've not been able to make it to Ukraine for this or that reason for quite some time already, it appeared to be a very nostalgic trip as well. It's been a long time since I saw the "width of the Russian soul" reflected in the urban architechture (no sarcasm implied).

But talking business, it was a curious trip. I realized that the countries have made incredible changes, which I know did not come easily after the collapse of the Soviet Union, but at the same time there's such a long way to go yet. And I realized that the root to these further changes is no more in financial or political or fiscal reforms. It is in the mentality of people. And now it's the hardest part: how to open it up to the rest of the world, how to make them think they are just the same - not worth or not better (the latter being the prevailing point of view among the locals themselves, which stretches itself to quite scary circumstances) - that they can achieve the same once they respect the world and want to be an EQUAL part of it..? Is it an achievable goal..?

French humour and the Danish wedding

This should have been in the "cultural observations" post, but since I am mixing up the thoughts today, it will go here: have you ever heard French jokes? I mean, French people joking. Oh, brother, why are they so blunt and awful? And the most annoying thing about it is that all the French vividly laugh about them and you (if you are not a French) feel very funny in such moments, like as if you a) so dummy that you didn't get the joke or b) so intelligent that you are far above that rural humour or c) don't understand the peculiarities of the language and he actually meant something different or d) other option (please specify). But, oh brother, they are so low level.

That, by some funny coincidence, one of the topics we actively discussed last week-end at my table during my friend's wedding.

Yes, last week-end I went to my friend's wedding to Arhus, Denmark. Was a tough trip in terms of schedule (4 hours of sleep in three days!) but quite rich in terms of impressions.

So, back to cultural discussions: I was lucky to sit together with an Englishman and an Argentian (though already englanized) girl at one table as we allowed ourselves all the possible burst of political incorrectness (in its kind sense) as only Englishmen can allow and all the possible impolite (read loud and careless) merriment as none of the North European nations can afford. I hope I didn't sound too mean. In fact, I really like the Danes, very nice people, very... correct, polite, emotionless, structurized, quite... So quite that I felt really awkward when I came to a flock of relatives from the Danish side and introduced myself (as a newcomer), they kept quite and still looking straigt at me questioning "what's next". And their eyes seemed sooo "questioning" that "the next" could be only something as crazy as jumping into the chilly Nordic sea (the restaurant was on the very sea shore) or stripping just in front of them...

Then there were long 5 or 6 hours of sitting and eating. Food was good, but in the of this eating time even we ran out of jokes and started entertaining ourselves with the ongoing football matches. Oh boy, it was long! And then - as I mentioned before ALL is very structured there - half an hour fresh air break - and finally the dances!! The music was really good. Great, in fact. All four hours. Sharply. But we had some fun - thankfully there were three other Ukrainian girls and we could move that respectful crowd a little bit :-)...

Voila, my North European wedding experience...

But I liked the country. I was a bit afraid going there - remember in Finland I got drenched and frozen after two days of never ending autumn rain in the middle of summer. But it is a nice country. Would like to come back and see more... for sure.

Cheers,
N.

This too...

Yes, now a bit sad, worrisome, funny feeling... C'est dure as they would probably say here in France...

It's a great feeling to be a modern active (business-) woman, but in (such) certain moments one somehow understands, or rather feels with every pore, other values. Why people cannot live their lives as if they are themselves imagining it to live? I mean just at once, immediately, like in a wink. I guess I know perfectly the answer, and I guess I am still that great optimist I used to be to be able to accomplish all this... It still feels very sad. But one thing I am becoming more and more sure about: dream and dertimination hand in hand will lead you to whatever you only can imagine. It needs time, and it is painful, but so - oh so - sure and ... probably correct...

Yes, as my gtalk friends can see in my status: The best way out is always through.

Cultural features.

Okey, I guess I got a bit fed up with all these national differences which we as foreigners (or rather citizens of the world) have to deal with hopping around Europe (now). I mean, they are not necessarily bad, but... sometimes they do get under my skin.

And thus, I am starting a post where I will be collecting my cultural observations. I will be updating it furtheron as new ideas come. And please note, all listed here below is strictly subjective. So, you can agree or disagree... But who would care about it?!

And, since I am in France now, I will start with the French...

1) I am almost sure that the French people like to talk just because they enjoy listening to their own selves. The annoying thing about it is that they don't often realize that others don't necessarily enjoy their talking too.

2) But the French bread is the best, for sure.

Just Amsterdam. Or..?

I have just one simple comment about my trip or rather an advice: JUST GO THERE! You have to go to Amsterdam, and there's no other option! Man, it's one of the (or maybe the) most beautiful and feels-good cities I've ever seen. But another ... well sorry for being boringly exhortative... go their with your loved ones. You will feel the city (literally) much better :-)

The city just embraces and gives out all its stories and secrets. And week-ends are too short to listen to them all. :-)

Cheers.

Kiitos from Finland.

Hello again!

Just came back from Finland a few hours ago. It was a biz trip and I usually prefer not to put my biz trip impressions on the blog, but this one had a few things worth saying.

But since I have been hopping from ome plane to another for the past three days, I am dead tired right now to put it all in an eloquent way. So, just not to forget...

First of all, we landed in our final destinqtion - Oulu - in 1 am in the night and..... really, first time in my life I saw it.... we stepped out of the airport into a broad day light! (Uuuu, dizzy, what's going on?!)

Well, yes, it was that famous white night. Now, in summer season (which in Finland lasts from the end of June to the middle of July as we were explained) it is North day - light 24 hours. Well, it is kinda cool for the first day (or rather night), but guys, furthermore your brain just starts going mad of abnormalities and refuses to sleep when it has to, while merely switching off when it is supposed to work. Actually, you are just making those nights for yourself by pulling down the blinds.

Next. I dunno, whether it was those few days when we were visiting Finland, or whether it is like that anyways, but it was rainy and chilly aaaal the time and it poured even more depression on the brain, which desperately tried to find sunshine in the 24 hour long day.

Sauna. Oh, yes. We didn't have time to go there, eventually (I wouldn't anyways), but Finland does have this cult of sauna and as one can trace it everywhere, sauna appears to be one of the beloves (though few) entertainments. Even my shower cabin in the hotel was somehow customised under a sort of steam shower - sort of sauna...

We were wondering along the Oulu strees under the incessant rain, trying to find a "cozy" place to eat. We ended up in a ... MEXICAN restaurant AMARILLO Original taste Wings. Well, I bet the food was far from the Nordic traditions, but we shovelled it up like three hungry vikings and half of the restaurant were staring at us, most probably wondering where those uncivilised funny patterns came from.

And, I guess it was true we were three barbarians from the seemingly civilized western europe in this severe and proud country.

I am very honestly confessing that I stole this story, or rather not. I read it, and liked it a loooot. So, thought you might like it too ;-)


Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,"Richness, can you take me with you?"Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!""I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you.""Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?""It was Time," Knowledge answered."Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

Transhumance or The big cow exodus

So, today I was back on the track of my travels. Went hiking to Ballon d'alsace again. But a different one...

Well, when my friend was inviting me for this... exercise, he sounded like that: "There are cows, a lot of cows! And they are walking. And people have to walk behind them to the top of the mountain!" Well... when I heard, I honestly had very mixed feelings: a lot of walking... in a place where I have already been... behind the cows... in a most probably rainy weather... climb to the top of the mountain when I am so tired after a crazy work week... My sleep-seeking brain has even invented a refusal startegy: to call 15 min before the early morning departure and say something to stay peacefully in bed whatever it could cost.

I guess the nature itself conspired against me, because I was woken up early in the morning by the bright sun beams bursted into my bedroom. And then my mind gave up: get up and move! In an hour we were heading on to Giromagny, the start point of the whole THING.

In reality, the whole as I quickly found out at the place, was the fest of cow exodus (sorry, but really can't find another word to describe it) for their summer pastures, uphill in Ballon d'Alsace. The cows are adorned and let out to the towm main square where the musicians are playing all kinds of triumphant and merry music to commemorate the Day and to probably cheer up the animals. Though the latter is probably really useless as the cows seemed so excited that they definitely did not need either cheering up or stupid people's snaps and poking - they were eager to go to their summer camp!


After all people's pomposity organized to at-least-as-they-thought pay respect to this almost sacred animal for cheese loving France, the gates were finally opened and the happy cows rushed (literally) to the top of the mountain. Those curious, sporty, local or just crazy gapers headed on to follow the herd, me being among them.
It was a very intensive, but enjoyable march along the beatiful mountain road. Crispy mountaineous air did not help sweating as we tried hard to keep up with happily running cows. Somewhere in the mid-way, the whole cow-people crowd made a break and we had a chance to taste a wonderful mulled wine... while cows didn't. Huh...

We arrived to the long-discussed "top of the mountain" in total 4 hours. There I was indeed surprised to see huge tents already installed and waiting for their tired and hungry hikers (in no way cows meant, though really sorry for the cows). When we found ourselves inside, the first thought that came into my mind was: "Gush, but isn't it Oktoberfest back in Munich?!". It appeared very similar to me. Big crowd of thirsty for good fun, food and drinks people and live music. And onwards, there was a lot of fun, and amazing (also very similar to German) food and amazing local wines (not beer thankfully ;-)). And people were dancing and laughing and everyone looked relaxed and restful.


It was a good day. Thank you Sun for waking me up!

"...Thank you for the music..."

This Saturday Belfort is hosting a big music festival, FIMU or Festival International de Musique Universitaire. It is really unusual to now see this good old, usually so conservative, town to wake up for this international hassle which is gonna take place in a day. Just saw all the scenes and rock pavilions which had been constructed in just one week. The whole Vielle Ville (Old City, Altstadt or whatever you can call it) just suddenly changed its face: couzy squares and little streets now have to bare all the rocker insanity on their long-standing medieval shoulders.
They told me it was one of the best times to visit Belfort. It turns into a smaller version of Cannes during its famous cinema festival. Well, you dare Belfort!

The Goals.

Hi Everyone! It's been a while I didn't touch my blog. Well... now it got busier and tiredness and business more and more often extinguisheany desire to go and spring out emotions to the world. I have two things, which I feel like I wanner write about... And they are not particularly linked.

But anyways! I had a beautiful week-end. (Thanks to E. - my travel companion - who was finally back) Went to Saut du Doubs, an a-a-awesome place on the border right between France and Switzerland. I was told that it's the best time to go there now as the river is in its full water. And it was really amazing: it showed all the natural power of the young spring and the frantic current of the waking up mother-nature. The waterfalls and the whole
forestry were great! It seems I haven't tasted such air for years.You know, it was really funny to pass a bridge which connects French land, on its one side, and Swiss land, on its other side. And even more funny: on the other side of the bridge there was a table with all notes like "You are now crossing the border. Please keep ready your passports or other ID documents". And all this in a real wild forest where not only customs officials, but a forest-guard is not a very frequent passer!!

I was longing for a week-end like this with a proper sun and a real May warmth! To catch the first sun tan on the face and to doubt whether to take off the coat, since it's warm, or to keep it on, since the wind is still mean. In a word, it was probably the first proper fest of SPRING in Europe this year. And it was generous.

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The second point is... Well... I am sitting right now in a totally dark room at my place. After another amazing week-end day-out in the nature. And I don't want to switch on the light - yeah-yeah, one of those "no-people-and-please-no-light" moods. Yeah... and listening to Leslie Feist. One my American friend advised me, so I finally got to find her records to listen. Kinda not bad. Yes, so! And I got suddenly (and probably stupidly) nostalgic. Nostalgic and a bit... empty. Looked through the pictures, mine and some of my friends. And somehow felt that so much is behind. So much efforts, feelings, emotions, hopes, achievements and falls, people, friends, intentions etc..... MBA is over, many of the life stages are in the past. So, what now? I realized that all my life I had goals, very strong personal goals I was stubbornly moving to. I don't mean that I don't have a goal now. It is just that I think I am getting a bit (ok wanted to say older, but will say ->) wiser. And now the goals turn into some "bigger life pictures" and it both scares me and makes me feel somehow weeker and more vulnerable, I guess. I understand that I probably should no more be "egoistically" stubborn in moving where I want, but then... how to live without this "break-any-wall-on-the-way" movement? And how to keep up with all those dear and loved ones? Well, I don't know the answer, at least now. And don't want to switch on the light.